This Saturday we went to an eggstravaganza where the kids got there faces painted, got to take only one ride down an enormous slide because it was a ridiculous $3 per ride and then raced to fill their baskets with eggs full of cheap crappy toys that I now have to dig out of every corner of the house and throw away. It was great. Unfortunately my camera battery has completely died and won't recharge so I have no pictures for you.
Instead, I thought I would share something with you that has really helped me out this last week. I'm hoping it will help you too.
While I was talking to my Mom last week she mentioned that she hadn't been able to read my blog for a while and had just gotten caught up and noticed that I seemed to be going through a rough patch.
So I told her about how I was struggling as a mom. How I actually wished one day that I didn't have to be a mom anymore and how scary that was. We talked about how I was dealing with things emotionally, physically, and spiritually. She had many words of wisdom for me. She is after all a mother of 7. What struck me the most and what has stayed with me all week though was when she told me to "live in the now"
Let me explain. Time frightens me. It pulls me in a million different directions and then looks me square in the face and laughs. By the time I sit down to eat breakfast I have already run over my list of folding laundry, reading scriptures, showering, putting dinner in the crock pot, paying bills, and on and on and my heart starts to pound because I don't know what to do first and what if I can't do them all in this small amount of time I have allotted myself. It's exhausting. Physically and emotionally.
So, "live in the now" she told me. Do one thing at a time and don't worry about what is coming next. If you can't fold the laundry right now because you have something else that needs to be done instead than forget about the laundry. You'll get to it when you can.
It's been hard. I still feel the clock staring at me but I have tried hard to push it away. And while I know this will be something I continue to work at, I have already noticed my days are smoother and I am less of the crazy psychopath mom that I usually am.
Monday, April 6, 2009
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11 comments:
It's great advice. Of course, we have a great mom!
I totally understand what you mean though. Sometimes it's hard not to get caught up in the future of all the things we have to do. I'm trying to work on that too.
Thanks for the post! :) I don't know a single mom that doesn't have to work on this! I am going to take this advice from your mom and try harder to "live in the now!"! Thanks!
It's the only way to survive! Live for life now, not for what we could be's and should be's. Lots of love!
Your mom is so smart! I know that I have realized that I need to treasure today's moments because once they are gone, they are gone. Housework and chores will always wait on you but family won't. I love your blogs. You should be a writer!
Oh my gosh that is so me. It can be totally paralyzing, and then you don't end up getting anything done! It's funny how alike you and I are--with our to-do lists and all. I'm glad you're finding a little more peace and learning to take one thing at a time. It is a constant learning process for me, as well. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks for this post Sally. I love how honest you are. It is such a blessing to have people like you in the world. When we first brought Freddy home I was really FREAKED, I prayed and that is the same advice that I got from the spirit. Take it one thing at a time, one day, one hour, one task....just do the best you can.
I know I stress out everyday about being able to get things "done" whether its school, the house, kids, etc. I love that your mom said to "live in the now". I am definetely going to have to apply that to my life.
I know the feeling! I'm so glad I have Beau who really does just live for the moment He doesn't worry about anything I have been trying to not be so anal about school and spend more of my time with the kids and its hard because I see my grades slipping a little but I think my girls are more important. My house has been a little messier too, but it doesn't matter right?!
I think having 3 kids taught me that lesson. I just couldn't keep up with everything anymore. When I am scrambling around trying to get it all done Seth will ask me, "what will happen if that doesn't get done today?" usually the answer is...nothing! It really doesn't matter whether or not we can do it all as long as we do the important stuff first.
When I had Chloe I was freaking out. I want to be that super mom that does all the right things all the time but as I prayed and read my scriptures Heavenly Father made it clear that he sent these kids to me so that I could love them and teach them the gospel. Anything else is great but that is first.
Hang in there!!!
Take comfort in the fact that every "normal" mother does this! I fall in the trap of thinking that I need a big block of time to accomplish something, so I put things off thinking that I don't have the time to get it done. The lesson that I'm trying to teach myself is that "by small and simple things, great things come to pass". Small efforts pay big dividends if I am consistent. Love ya!
Yeah - time can be scary. Mom identity crisis vs. Personal identity crisis can be scary (been through that one lately). Being a responsible adult can be scary (and annoying - seriously - why can't I just be the silly teenage girl that I didn't take the time to be when I was a teenager?) and cleaning bathrooms can be scary. Oh wait, I think I got a little off track. Anyway - yep - we just keep chuggin along, caboose and all (don't you hate it when your caboose shakes when you go up and down those stairs? - I do - there's another "friendly" reminder - work out Marz!) Anyway - I'm blabbing about nothing because I'm distracted - and should be focusing on some of those "to-do's" like dinner and family night. Those are the "now." Love ya much!
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