We made it one month! OK, so it hasn't really been that hard, but I still have been unsure about how long we could survive in such close quarters. And since we are plugging along just fine, there are no plans yet for me and the kids to leave.
This week has been one of excitement. Not all of it good, unfortunately. Most of you probably saw on Facebook that James is going to need a little dental work done. Laila was mad at him for something so she scratched his leg, which made him made so he decided to get revenge by picking her up and body slamming her onto the bed. At the last second, he realized that was a really mean thing to day so he flipped around so that she would land on top of him and when they hit the bed her head bounced off his mouth. I was a little upset about his teeth, but very proud of him for making the right decision. He sometimes has a hard time thinking beyond himself, so that fact that he was worried not only about hurting Laila, but changed his action in the heat of the moment, was actually a pretty big deal. He's handling things quite a bit better today, but when the incident first happened he was pretty distraught about how his teeth now look. The turning point was when Josh told him about how he chipped his tooth as a kid. So now that he's like dad, it's not so big of a deal.
On Saturday there was a pretty good chance of rain, so instead of the beach we decided to check out the Tampa aquarium. The kids had a great time, and since a season pass was not much more than going one time, we bought the pass and will be able to go several more times before we leave. When we left the aquarium it was pouring down rain. Poor Josh had to run through it quite a ways to get the car and then drive back to get us.
This picture makes her look way too grown up for my liking!
How awesome of a picture is this!
Do you see me and Josh in the picture as well?
The most exciting part of this week for me is that after many prayers, I feel like I have finally been guided to some big answers about James. He has come a long way these past few months, but Josh and I have still felt like there was something we were missing. He seems like a normal active boy to most observers, but at home we have noticed a few things that caused us some concern. He constantly puts non food items in his mouth, when he gets frustrated he will thrash his head around, he doesn't understand the concept of personal space, and several other little things that on their own wouldn't be alarming, but added together didn't seem right. We have talked about getting him evaluated, but weren't really sure what for, or how to go about it. Then, a few days ago a friend on Facebook posted something about how letting her son with SPD sleep with a white noise app and headphones had finally helped him sleep through the night. (another of James' problems) That post triggered a memory of something she had said to me several months ago about how James seemed a lot like her son and that I should check into Sensory Processing Disorder. My cousin Amy had also recently posted on Facebook that her son had been diagnosed with SPD so I decided I should at least read something about it. I went straight to Barnes and Noble that afternoon and bought The Out of Sync Child and within the first two chapters, I already felt like so many of my questions had been answered. Of course, we will have to have him professionally evaluated to make sure, but I can say with 99% certainty that James has a mild case of SPD. There are several different types, but he is a sensory seeker. Basically his brain isn't getting all the sensory messages that his body is sending to it, so it tells hims "I need more!" He chews on things, stands upside down, squeezes me really tight all day long, sticks his hand in the wax warmer every time he walks by it even though he has been repeatedly told not to, and talks with a loud voice in inappropriate situations, to satisfy his brains craving for stimulation. It also explains a lot about THIS post! Apparently, sensory seekers can be hard to potty train because they might like the feeling of a loaded diaper or underwear! I haven't finished the book yet, and I know there is going to be a lot more learning that needs to happen both for him and me and Josh, but I'm so happy that we finally have a way to help him. In just a few days we've already discovered a few tricks, like letting him chew gum while he has to sit still for school work, that have made a difference. I can't tell you how relieved I feel to finally have some answers, and to know that his behavioural problems aren't because of anything I did wrong as a parent.
Next week we are hoping for sunshine instead of rain. The beach is calling to us!
5 comments:
Still just so jealous that you are in FL, in shorts, and have your kids home every day.
Sorry about the tooth. No fun, but thankfully those kinds of things can be repaired and with that big old grin he doesn't look even a little bit traumatized by it.
I have never heard of SPD but I will have to read up on it. Alex chews on things too, sleeves, toys, whatever, and he yells for no reason (not in anger, just energy), and he repeats things a lot...like he'll say thank you for dinner 15 times or I love you 200 times a day. He also has to have things go according to plan like, if we try to have 2 meals a day he can't handle that. You can't have brunch, three separate meals is a rule to him. We have a psychologist in the family who says he has OCD or something in that spectrum. I do not want to medicate him because it doesn't really bother me but I wonder if it is something more like what you are describing, and wondering how you treat SPD? Keep us posted.
Julie, spd can be coupled with a lot of other things, so its possible he could have a touch of both. I would definitely recommend reading the book, at least to see if you feel like it needs to be addressed further. There are no medications involved in the treatment, which was a relief to me. Based on what type the person has, they are put on a "sensory diet" which is basically just sensory activities they need each day. I will let you know as I learn more
your adventure sounds so fun! i'm also happy to hear that you're enjoying homeschooling all your kiddos! that's got to be a lot of work. sometimes one for me is a lot! i'm sure you have bad days, no doubt!
also happy to hear about you learning about spd for james! i know how that is. having a child with problems and no answers. all kids with rad have spd. we were actually told about the spd before the rad. i focus so much on her rad that i don't think i give enough attention to her spd, sot this was a good reminder. do you find that james doesn't do well with tv? we are yet again on a tv fast. absolutely no tv. she just can't handle it! she gets so grouchy and angry, without it she's a different child. could also be her other issues though. i sure wish i could plop her in front of a movie here and there.. but.... i'd rather have a happy child!
you're doing a good job sally! you are inspiring to me! keep up the hard work!
I love the shark picture, it is awesome.
Kate, we definitely notice a difference in him when it comes to screen time. His negative behavior happens more with games, than say just watching a movie, but I still notice a difference in him when there is no screen time at all. Unfortunately, most of our homeschooling right now is done online through time 4 learining, which he loves, but now I'm debating whether or not we should just get rid of it and go to all book work. The problem with that, is that he fights me way more on school work so I guess I need to decided which battle to pick.
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